Am I, as the child, never supposed to show my dissatisfaction? I try to rationalize her anger towards me, but in doing so, I end up feeling like I have no one to blame but myself. She's right about everything when it comes to me.
God, I wish you could take away this pain I'm feeling, as well as her pain and burden. Take me away, and her life will be so much easier. It's been so long since I've felt this way, but now, all those old feelings and words are washing over me again, hitting me like waves crashing against the rocks until the rocks are shaped by them. I wonder how far I've gone.
I wish I could drive to the Penang Bridge and jump. Let them never find my body, and I’ll become food for the fish. At least then, I’d finally be useful for something.
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