6 Oct 2024

maybe it won't be too bad.

Back in high school, I used to have a mindset where I didn't want to get involved in any kind of relationship because I was scared of the expectations my partner might place on me and of losing someone I love. I had seen a relative get divorced due to infidelity, and I had heard many scary stories about marriage. I despised the idea of bringing two individuals together to make them one under a single household. The thought of being pregnant and giving birth also scared me. I was consumed with 'what if' thoughts, such as 'What if my children end up hating me?' 'What if I get cheated on because I couldn't meet my partner's needs?' 'What if I'm not a good spouse?' The overthinking consumed me. But now, although I realize there are both good and bad men, I've slowly changed my mind. I do want to build a family and leave behind a legacy.