It’s been so long -- a rather old fashioned way to say I’ve abandoned this blog for quite a while. I guess I was stuck in what people call “writer’s block,” or maybe I just didn’t have anything to write about. Well, I think I’m finally ready to let go of the past and leave it behind. It has consumed my mind for years, and now I’ve had enough of dwelling on something that those people probably don’t even care about. I was the one who left -- so why should I dwell? I did the right thing. At least, that’s what I believe. Anyway, it’s almost the end of my final year at university. I’m almost in denial that I’m about to graduate soon. Thesis writing is done, but I still need to make some corrections before submitting the hardbound version. The next stage of life is approaching -- my internship, and then… the real world. If you ask me how I feel about it, I’d say I’m scared. Like, what do you mean I’m no longer my parents’ burden? Now I understand why adults used to say I’d one day wish to turn back time and be young again -- when the biggest worries were homework, exams, and tuition classes. When life was just about playing and having fun. No real worries. No commitments. But this is real life. There’s no time machine. No cheat code. We have to do what we have to do. Maybe that’s why some people get so desperate that they resort to scamming others, or worse, ending their lives -- an easy way out of trouble. But no -- the afterlife is real. Since reality has hit hard, I’ve been trying to make changes in how I navigate life. I’m learning to control what I eat, clear my mind through workouts, and I’ve started reading again. Actually, it’s not that I stopped reading entirely. I just paused for a few months. But recently, I managed to finish a book in under a week, so I guess that’s an achievement. Oh, and I’ve learned how to sew! I’ve made two pieces so far: a full set of baju kurung and a blouse I designed with inspiration from Pinterest. The process was so much fun -- truly. I think I’ve found my passion, sewing. My motivation came from wanting to be like my grandmothers. Both of them could sew -- as many women of their time could. I want to inherit that skill too. I had tried crocheting before, but it hurt my hands, strained my eyes, and gave me headaches. I couldn’t find joy in it. So I turned a new leaf and tried something else -- and I think I’m getting into the rhythm. I really love sewing. I’ve also been experimenting with baking. I’ve mostly been trying to figure out my own measurements for recipes, to find what works best for me. I’ve tested this with cakes and cookies. And recently, I baked cinnamon rolls -- for the first time! I had never even tasted one before. It was heaven. I just need to tweak the recipe a bit. I even shared some with my friends, and I found joy in doing that too.
Well, I hope 2025 will be the year I become a better version of myself. I want to take things slow. Slow and steady.