forgiving is indeed a very noble act

Forgiving is indeed a very noble act.

 

Not everyone has the ability to do that, especially when it comes to forgiving someone who has harmed their life to the point of ruining it. These individuals often end up escaping responsibility and never taking accountability for their actions, while those who face the consequences are left to endure the pain and suffering despite being innocent. And yet, some manage to forgive despite all of this. Indeed, forgiveness is a noble act. It must take everything in them to say, "I forgive you," considering the price they’ve had to bear because of those people.

 

I wish I could be like that. Holding a grudge is exhausting. But knowing that these people can enjoy life, be happy, and feel free makes me bitter. I admit that I feel bitter. Why should I be overwhelmed with all these feelings while they get to be happy after stealing what should have been mine? It feels unfair. But in reality, you either get over it or do something about it. And doing something could mean seeking payback, whether for good or for bad.

 

So, I choose peace, even though I’m still at war with my feelings and my past. 

 

Hopefully, one day, I’ll sign a peace treaty with myself.

 

It’s the only way I’ll finally break free.

my deepest desire.

Am I, as the child, never supposed to show my dissatisfaction? I try to rationalize her anger towards me, but in doing so, I end up feeling like I have no one to blame but myself. She's right about everything when it comes to me.

 

God, I wish you could take away this pain I'm feeling, as well as her pain and burden. Take me away, and her life will be so much easier. It's been so long since I've felt this way, but now, all those old feelings and words are washing over me again, hitting me like waves crashing against the rocks until the rocks are shaped by them. I wonder how far I've gone.

 

I wish I could drive to the Penang Bridge and jump. Let them never find my body, and I’ll become food for the fish. At least then, I’d finally be useful for something.

rose coloured you

 He often asks me,
“What do you think of me?”
Oh, my dear,
If only you could read my mind,
Step inside, and see through my eyes—
Every thought of you
Pulls me deeper,
Makes me fall harder.

You make me smile like a fool
With every conversation we share,
My heart races,
Butterflies swirl inside me—
So many, I think I could burst.

That’s how I feel,
That’s what I think.
But, oh, my dear,
If only you knew,
If only you could see
How I see you.

the unsent letters

Hands dance swiftly,
Blank paper waiting to be filled,
My tears witness every line,
Now forever etched upon it,
Plead, coax, hate, love,
Unfolded on the sheets of paper,
Which now increasingly pile up,
And become only a relic,
When life has flown away,
Fire licks,
As a symbol of eternal love.

echoes of a month

 

A month ago,
We wandered under the Eiffel Tower,
Hand in hand,
Romance etched in a kiss,
The tower, a silent witness.

A month ago,
Joy twisted into pain,
Screams became the background,
Familiar now, yet still shocking,
Tears in shattered eyes,
Footsteps fading away,
Leaving a trembling form,
Wishing time would pause.

Now, a month later,
She moves on,
Life regains its hue,
Yet echoes of the past remain,
He stands there,
Returning once again.

the room within

My mind is like a cluttered room,
Chaotic and unkempt,
Filled with scraps of imagined art,
Pages scrawled with jumbled thoughts.
I’m unsure of what I’m thinking,
It’s a mess, tangled and frayed.
They say a mind reflects its owner,
Perhaps that’s how others see me.