Just a late night thought.
As a child, do you actually owe your parents? Especially your mother? I’m not talking about devoted mothers, but the ones who feel entitled to everything. They think they deserve their child’s respect even when they show no respect for their child’s mental well-being. All they care about is their reputation.
I have someone in my life like this. She always complains that our parents never cared for her, but she’s doing the same thing to her son. If you're reading this, yes, I’m talking about you. I never say anything about it, always agreeing because you're older. But sometimes I wonder, what goes through your mind before you call your child dumb, stupid, and so on?
I understand you want your son to excel academically, but why must you keep using those hurtful words? I know he's not your biological son, but can’t you consider his feelings? He's only 8 years old. He might not fully realize yet that what you're saying is harmful, probably because of the way you’ve brainwashed him to think that you're doing this out of love. But as someone who was once a daughter to our mother, I know it’s hurtful, and I still remember it.
Do you ever consider that you might be scarring him for life? That your words could make him grow up to be insecure, with low self-esteem? You claim to care and love him, but I don’t see that in how you treat him. You treat him as though he doesn’t have feelings. I don’t care if you're trying to "toughen him up." He could grow up lacking empathy, becoming just like his biological parents, whom you constantly criticize.
To me, you're no better than your ex-husband. He may have been physically abusive, but you're torturing your son mentally. If you told me to ask him whether you’re hurting him, of course, I wouldn’t get any clear answer. He’ll always defend you because you’ve made him believe you're doing this for his own good. He won't realize how hurtful it is until one day, he learns that he could have received real love from someone who wasn’t selfish or lacking in empathy.
I also hate how entitled you feel, believing that your son owes you respect even after you call him stupid. Sure, you apologize afterward, but seriously? There are so many other ways to teach and nurture him, but you choose to be harsh. Your excuses are garbage.
You always say I have a short temper, but you're worse. You call our dad crazy and say he should get treatment, but you're no better. In fact, you're worse. One last thing, I hope you stop looking down on other people.