Back then, I dreamed of working in a lab, becoming a scientist, and making a groundbreaking discovery that would win me a Nobel Prize. But now, when I think about it, it doesn't appeal to me anymore. It feels like it's just not my cup of tea. While STEM is an incredible field, and the idea of women excelling in STEM is wonderful, the reality in this country is that opportunities are scarce. The pay often doesn't match the amount of work you have to put in.
So, I'm facing a dilemma. I'm considering learning Python or other coding languages because people say it can help you land a good job. I hope they're right because that's what I plan to do.
God... thinking about the future really scares me.
I used to think I didn't want to get married after witnessing a marriage fall apart after almost two decades. It made me lose faith in love, yet I still crave it. The idea of growing old with someone and watching my children grow into good people who start their own families restores my belief in humanity. But I know not everything goes as planned. We can try our best, but if Allah says no, it won't happen.
I fear a failed marriage. What if my children turn out to be bad people? My mind is overwhelmed with so many worries. People tell me to relax and go with the flow, but I can't. I'm scared of being the most miserable person in the world, scared of failing, and ending up homeless, jobless, and without a family. Sometimes, I hate living. How do I make these thoughts stop?
i fear the same way and worry so much!! you're not alone in this thinking.. we really do just have to let it flow and enjoy the ride or else we wont be able to do anything! <3
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your kind words! It's comforting to know I'm not alone in feeling this way. Not knowing what's in store for us in the future scares me a lot. But now, when I think about it again, that's what makes life full of surprises and more interesting. So yeah, you're absolutely right. I'll try to just follow the flow and live in the moment!
Delete