break free?

 Lately, I've been thinking a lot about my life, mistakes and the past. Thinking about it actually makes me want to disappear from this world so that I can take a break for a while. Especially, when it comes to mistakes. Of course, we as human are so prone to making mistakes and sometimes we can't just avoid it. It's inevitable, like how most people said, and they always say that we live only once, so just take up any challenges and face it. It's okay to make mistakes. But the thing is, for some people, like me for example, tend to dwell on our mistakes. It makes us wish that we can turn back time to fix everything. Even though it doesn't rip us apart, yet, but dwelling on it is really secretly eating us up inside. It feels like you have an unfinished business with the universe, or you keep on thinking of the what ifs like, what if I do the opposite. Would that make my life better? Maybe we could still be friends, I shouldn't overreact and etc. I hate being that kind of person you know. A person who always have regrets in their life. A person who always let other people's words get into their mind and then every decision they made is based on what people said. I basically, unconsciously let people control my life. As usual, people would give you an advice to make changes in your life. But it's so hard to bring yourself to make those changes, it feels like trying to move a mountain with bare hands. It's like I'm holding myself back, and sometimes, I'm my own worst enemy. But maybe, just maybe, it's time to break free from this cycle. It's time to cut loose from the grip of my past mistakes and the opinions of others. Instead of dwelling on what could've been, I'll start focusing on what can be. I'll learn from my missteps, not let them dictate my future. It's not an easy path to take, but I'm determined to step off this treadmill of regrets. I'll forge my own way and rediscover the person I want to be in this world.

Of course it'll be hard, but I'll try my best to let things go.